A very talented and creative 10 year old boy named Christian wrote the following play for our class. He agreed to let me post it here for others to benefit from his work. If you find it useful please email him at: charsketch@yahoo.ca. He also mentions there is one error in the script that you can change if you want to.
FINDING URANUS
CAST:
Ensemble= Customers, Government Officials, Herschel Children, Audience /Hecklers
William
Caroline
Father/ Walking Dictionary
Mother
Ensemble (GO#1)
Announcer/Ensemble (C#1, GO# 2)
Customer # 3/ Fritz Herschel
SCENE 1
The Herschel who Homeschool
(Enter Mother, Father, William, Caroline, and All Herschel Children)
FATHER: (Speaks with the air of a Very Intelligent Person) Now. Sit down, Fritz, and stop fidgeting, for goodness sake! Ok, now we can continue. Math lesson. (Writes 2+2 on board. William raises his hand.) Yes, William!
WILLIAM: It’s five, Father! It’s Five!
FATHER: Eeer… No, William, just a Bit wrong… (Caroline raises her Hand) Yes, Caroline.
CAROLINE: (Speaks Wisely) Four.
FATHER: Yes, Caroline.
CAROLINE: William was wrong, Wasn’t he father?
FATHER: Eeer… Yes, Caroline. William was slightly wrong.
CAROLINE: Hah! I Told you That you Couldn’t do math, mister Two- Plus- Two- is Five Herschel!!!! (William Sticks out his tongue)
FATHER: Eeer… yes, Caroline… (Slightly more confident) Now. Music Lesson. Repeat: (Sings Horribly) LA!!!!!!!
ALL BUT FRITZ: LA!!!!!!!
FRITZ: Ha, ha! I mean- LA!!!!!!!!
FATHER: Ok that went well. Now, My Favorite; ASTRONOMY!!!!! Ok, now: (Draws the simple star shape) What’s This?
CAROLINE: a Supernova!
WILLIAM: No, you silly girl! (To FATHER) A comet!
FATHER: (highly aggravated) No!!! No, no, no, no! (To MOTHER) YOU teach them! They’re YOUR children! (Goes and sits)
MOTHER: All Right now, If Y plus 17 equals 20, then Y equals…
END OF SCENE 1
SCENE 2
Goodbye, Germany! Hello, England!
(Enter William, Caroline, and Mother)
CAROLINE: Goodbye, Mom!
WILLIAM: Goodbye, Mom!
MOTHER: Oh, no you don’t Caroline Herschel! You are going to stay here and be my servant for the rest of my life!
CAROLINE: No, actually, mom, William and I are going to England!
MOTHER: No, Actually, Caroline, YOU are staying right here and mopping the floors, feeding the fish, cleaning the house, washing the dishes -
CAROLINE: Don’t we have a dishwasher?
MOTHER: Those haven’t been invented yet.
CAROLINE: Oh.
WILLIAM: (from the door) Caroline! I’m leaving without you!
MOTHER: See? See? I TOLD you that you were staying!
CAROLINE: He was just kidding, mom! (To WILLIAM) I’m Coming! (Runs out door)
MOTHER: Oh, then who’s going to mop the floors, feed the fish, clean the house, Or wash the dishes?
FATHER 
off right) You Will!
END OF SCENE 2
SCENE 3
The tiring opera, the wonderful telescopes!
(Enter ANNOUNCER)
ANNOUNCER: And Now, William and Cordyline Herschel–
CAROLINE: (Offstage) Caroline!
ANNOUNCER: Caroline, I mean, will be Performing…uh…
WILLIAM: (Also Offstage) Jingle Bells!
ANNOUNCER: Jumble Bulls!
WILLIAM: Sigh… Announcers… (Enters with CAROLINE)
CAROLINE: Ladies and Gentlemen! (Everybody keeps chatting and talking) Friends, Romans and Countrymen! (Everybody keeps chatting and talking) Dearly beloved! (Everybody keeps chatting and talking) (Desperate now) Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury! (Everybody keeps chatting and talking) SHUT UP!!!!!!!!
PAUSE
Thank You. Now, Jingle Bells!
(Sings Horribly) Ji-i-ingle Be-e-e-lls, Ji-i-ingle Be-e-e-lls, Ji-i-ingle a-a-all the wa-a-ay! (Hecklers yell and throw fruit) (Dodging fruit) o-o-o-oh wha-a-a-a!! HELP ME WILLIAM! (Hecklers chase WILLIAM and CAROLINE off.)
(SCENE CHANGE: WILLIAM AND CAROLINE’S TELESCOPE SHOP)
WILLIAM: Well, That went well!
CAROLINE: I don’t know WHY dad ever got us interested in music! That wasn’t even the worst production!
WILLIAM: Yeah, remember that production in the Shakespeare theatre?
CAROLINE: (Shudders) Don’t remind me! (Both Laugh )
WILLIAM: Sash! Here comes today’s first customer! Now, remember, let me do the talking! (Business- like) Now ma’am-
CUSTOMER #1: No, No, No, I’m Very, very, very, sorry but imp in a big, big, big hurry. One telescope, here’s, uh… (Glances at sign marked ONE TELESCOPE FOR 5 POUNDS) 5 pounds. Thank you very much now bye!
WILLIAM: (glances down at the absent- minded customer’s 6 pounds) Eeer… Ok… (Enter CUSTOMER # 2) Ah! Sir! What would–
CUSTOMER # 2: YOU like for sight- seeing, Do-nny? Telescopes! That’s right! At Herschel’s Telescopes, we know that telescopes make the best Sight-seeing! So-
WILLIAM: Oh, be quiet! (Shoves CUSTOMER # 2 Offstage) Now.
CAROLINE: I think that we should be getting home now. It’s getting late.
WILLIAM: Yeah, I think you’re right. (Packs up telescopes) Last one to the house is a bowl of rotten Mittelscharf! (Both exit quickly)
END OF SCENE 3
SCENE 4
Finally, we discover URANUS!!
(Enter WILLIAM)
WILLIAM: Phew! That was an exhausting day. Now I can sit back, relax, and- hey, where’s Caroline?
CAROLINE: (enter) I’m right here, William. Now, I just saw something through your Exo- super ultra uber-power telescope! It doesn’t look like a meteorite; it can’t be a star–
WILLIAM: Let me look. (Looks in exo- super ultra- uber- powered telescope)
CAROLINE: I think it’s a comet.
WILLIAM: But it looks like a disk! Comets look like – like- little white smudge things!
CAROLINE: what else could it be? It Can’t be a comet, meteor, meteorite, asteroid… Surely it’s not another planet!
WILLIAM: (‘lightbulb moment’) Of Course! Let it be known that on this day, William X. Herschel discovered the 7th planet!
CAROLINE: All right, all right, but what are we going to name it?
WILLIAM: Well, we’re going to name it George, of course!
CAROLINE: Uh, George??
WILLIAM: After King George, of course!
CAROLINE: Um, shouldn’t we follow the old tradition and name it after one of the roman gods? I mean, it look pretty strange to say ‘Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, George’, Wouldn’t it?
WILLIAM: Of Course not! We’re Christians, not Pagans! We’ll call it George!
CAROLINE: How about … Hmm… Uranus?
WILLIAM: George!
CAROLINE: Uranus!
WILLIAM: George!
CAROLINE: Uranus!
WILLIAM: George!
CAROLINE: Uranus!
WILLIAM: George!
CAROLINE: Uranus!
WILLIAM: Fine! Have it YOUR Way! Then everybody will think that we’re PAGANS!!!
CAROLINE: Uranus! Nice name. Glad you thought of it!
WILLIAM: I didn’t, you id…! never mind…
END OF SCENE 4
SCENE 5
Government Officials at your Door?
(Enter WILLIAM and CAROLINE)
WILLIAM: Well, That was a tiring- (knocking sound) What’s that?
GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL # 1: Open up, in the name of the government!
WILLIAM: (opens Door) Hello, Who’s–
GO#1: (Barges in with GO#2, taking notes on a notepad) All right, now, come on the governments waiting for you to make the announcement about you discovering Herschel, the 7th planet From the Sun!
WILLIAM: Actually, it’s called–
CAROLINE: Uranus!
WILLIAM: You mean, its–
GO#1: Well, why not Herschel? After all, you find it!
WILLIAM: We’re going to call it–
CAROLINE: Following the old tradition, we are naming it after a Roman god, Uranus!
GO#1: Interesting name! Who thought of it?
CAROLINE: William di-
WILLIAM: (shouting )GEORGE!
(Pause; all look at WILLIAM )
GO#2: (suddenly animated) George who…?
WILLIAM: King George! THE King George!
GO#2: uh, what about him?
WILLIAM: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGH!!!!
CAROLINE: ‘Yaaaaaarrgh?’ What does ‘Yaaaaaarrgh’ mean? And what does it have to do with this conversation?
WALKING DICTIONARY: (enters) YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGH!: an expression of frustration, invented by William Herschel in the 18th century, used commonly to express anger when people misunderstand your meaning of GEORGE!(exits )
CAROLINE: Um, What’s with the walking dictionary thing?
CHRIS: (offstage) my sister thought it up! Blame her!
CAROLINE: alright, back to the 18th century.
GO#2: anyway, you are going to come with us, and find more comets and stuff!
CAROLINE: Ok!
WILLIAM: Ok!
(All Exit)
BOWS:
Ensemble
Mother and Father
Fritz
William and Caroline (William still muttering ‘George, Uranus, Herschel, George, Uranus, Herschel,’ etc.)
